This has to be blackmail of  some sort 

I sat through a date 


I don’t know why I even showed up 

The food! It has to be for the food 

And my adventurous spirit that always wants to try new things 

Well that spirit almost killed me today 

I was on the verge of dying 

Quite literally 

Of boredom 

So previously I’d been giving off this not interested vibe with silence 

Like I was really being obvious 

I’m not nice I won’t defend my niceties 

I’d be lying 

But when someone is declaring their undying love for you! 

And they look like they are about to cry! 

My gosh! 

You get in the car with them 

Don matter whether he’s gonna drive you into a ditch 

Or the ocean so y’all can die, him loving you! 

You wear your big girl panties and you hold in the laughter 

That is dangerously threatening to escape 

Because you don’t want to see the look on his face. 

It will be like kicking  a puppy 

So that’s where I found myself 

Surrounded by comfort food and coffee 

But inwardly cringing 

Call me mean

But all I kept thinking was now what I’m I supposed to do with all that love

I know where the food’s gonna go, the love though 

Like can’t we give it to the next person? 

I for one volunteer my best friend 

Look at what his oh so pronounced adoration is doing to me 

Turning me into a traitorous bestie

But my gosh

This has to be blackmail of some sort 

Now that we have identified that my emotions are subterannean 

I can’t sign that contract 

Could he sue me? 

Oh no!  This is bad

 So I’m just gonna sit here in this wonderful place 

Inhale the scent of coffee 

And take it like a man 

There’s this saying that goes like :
The good ones go, if you stay too long 

So I’m just gonna go before I stay too long 

Like share comment (on the comment section) Bless your souls stars. 

A load off my back 

You have to believe in yourself for it to work . “If you don’t who will? ” The self help books chorus “when no-one else believed In me,  I believed in myself ”

Tell you what? I’m tired of that crap.

I don’t believe in myself. I like to think that I do,  but I don’t. 

Many successful people don’t and didn’t. 

Because, it is not necessary 

They don’t need to have faith in themselves. They have evidence 

*Wow! I feel like that’s a load off my back.* 

Before I started doing weekly quotes for my church sometime ago, I sent an essay to this individual who was in charge of what goes up on the bulletin at that time.

I was scared my people, I didn’t believe in myself but what I had was a case and I was ready to test my assumption in the evidence that I could actually write.

So when we met up for coffee to discuss it the first thing out of my mouth was “So.. What do you think? ” I was looking for constructive criticism and feedback. I was willing to accept the verdict  or work for the verdict I wanted. 

Because the feeling of accomplishment is really the only feeling we can earn. 

That said, I will tell you the ideologies I disagree with.. 

I advise you against selective Bible reading. Faith in the Bible is described as assurance of things hoped for.. But I’m pretty sure there is also a text on God blessing the work of your hands

My gosh whatever you want to do with your spiritual life is up to you. 

I ain’t trying to direct it. 

But that kind of thinking is dangerous because I dare say, hope is no strategy to build a company or write a book! Or accomplish whatever it is you dream of. 

There are people who believe their success was written in oracles

That they are meant to be a big deal 

When really success and confidence are curved from the work produced.

I like to read of the men, who didn’t know they could do it but they still kept on

I don’t think the leaders that fought for our independence in the early early times believed that they could do it. 

Or the people who fought for women rights, for the women to be able to do things that seem so casual today. 

The difference between those Hero’s we remember and people who believe that they were born with it or that they are entitled to it is that the former created it from Nothing. 

The latter instead of tasting the sweet fruit of  gradual accomplishment, they drunk the bitter brew of abject failure. 

I wonder what lies their egos are feeding them now. When it kept whispering affirmations then

To Our Hero’s their own success was a constant surprise because in that doubt, lies true modesty. 

Now now you can listen to the gamblers or the workers. 


Whether you think you can do something is so much less important than whether you actually can or cannot do the thing. 

*The thing wink wink *

My point being, you do not need to believe in yourself 

Stop dilly dallying in wishful thinking

Just bring forth the work that proves you can

This is how you actually end up  achieving the things that other people are busy believing  they can do. 

I know I know 😅 ❤

Dedicated to Kenneth R. 

Like, comment (on the comment section) and share

Have a productive week Stars. ❤

Lock down 

It is when your eyes get wet

Your heart rate peaks up

Your fingers get sloppy 

And you suddenly are claustrophobic 

That you know life is about to fuck you up real good 

Doesn’t matter whether it comes in form of a tragedy or a very hot, presumably “out of your league ” man or lady

Nothing good causes discomfort 

Because everything good brings peace and for good measure I dare add long term happiness. 

Not short lived ideologies of a good high

Because as gravity generously dictates, 

Whatever goes up

Has to come down.

Other than being an “enemy of progress ” on this wonderful day that I feel quite honoured to have turned heads due to my white bear back top that I got from my dear cousin D.  

There are actually more pressing matters, so before you start wondering what crawled up my derriere and died, I’ll give it to you real quick.

Man or woman we all deserve respect. They don’t have to like you, but you better ensure they respect you. 

Maybe you have not been in a situation where someone will congratulate you but at the same time demean you. 

But I can tell you, it’s infuriating.

“People will point out your flaws and if you are fortunate, they will point out your strengths. But their views will always be varnished, either with jealousy or awe.”

So I’ll tell you a little secret I overheard 

Have complete and utter confidence in who you are 

When you have that people will be drawn to you 

They will believe in your brand

But you have to work your ass off

You have to be willing to do what scares everyone else to death. 

That’s the difference between talent and success 

Recognize who you are 

No-one can do it for you.

Also, I encountered an elder man, whose goal in life was to make money soley 

Oh he made the money alright. 

But he got himself lost in it

Spends most of his nights in bars 

It’s a miracle how he gets himself home most days. 

The moral of the story is, If your sole goal in life is to make money, 

I assure you, you will lead a miserable life after you get your money 

Don’t get me wrong, 

I pray for myself to have a long life full of health, MONEY, love and God’s blessings. 

But I bet you have heard of this saying before, you are not rich until you have something money cannot buy. 

It’s true you know? 

When I said recognize who you are, I meant understand your purpose love. 

It will take you further than how many zero’s your pay check has. 

On a lighter note, I come with the most awesome comebacks 10 hours after an argument… You wanna buy😁

Bless you guys. Thank you. Have a blessed week stars. 

Honest whole

His heart as so is yours is soft and tender 

Never to be stone 

So understand when it bends over and breaks due to lack of consideration from your side 

I get excited and while at it I get attached 

Tell me why you can’t let me be 

I would never ask you to seize from making sexual innuendos towards me 

And every part that makes me female 

They would have to accept me, or choke on the fact of my femininity 

So why won’t you do the same? 

 Dammed for eternity to forever feel all too intensely? 

Oh!  The tragedy! 

I wish they could See you watching and waiting for her message as the watchmen wait upon the morning 

Do they do the same? 

Probably not 

I was a proper lady even before we crossed paths 

But please, if anything remember this

1. I am content with being by myself. During the cold nights, of course I reminisce but then I will hold my mug of white coffee closer, sip the life out of it, Sit on my bed and write poems of how I’m content

2. I get attached fast if we are in constant communication. There is zero to nothing, that I can do about that. Go big or go home.

 3. Today I posted a line, “been straight her whole life, met her. Woke up with curls ” Someone asked if I was gay.? No I like men just fine. So that’s to let you know I have a vision and my words will never be limited by sex, age, religion etc you get the drift. 

4. I may be outspoken but I’m timid and impatient hence act on impulse. I wish you’d be kinder than I am and more polished when it comes to self restraint. That would be nice.

Enough of this gloomy list. I like myself better when happy 


We groom ourselves to only demonstrate the best of ourselves and hide the rest 

Meaning outside our homes, 

The rest of the world gets the perfect selfie

With the oh so mighty perfect filter

It is a world of self interest, self image and self promotion 

We are at ‘almost happy’ with an experience we share

But is it the same experience when no-one is there? 

Why is the unspoken pressure so loud that we have to succumb to it

We don’t even know if anyone is listening 

What sorrow it has come down to 

So before I get pulled down to this isolation 

They term ‘fake it till you make it sugar’

First, please call me by my name 

And second , No!

I will beg to be excused from this catastrophe 

I cannot and will not cage my feelings, my thoughts 

I will say what I want, all the time and I will stay true to who I am and my vision. 

If you suffocate one time because of the society and it’s not so subtle demand of the kind of person you should be 

Please run to me

You’re not alone 

I’ll help you breath 

Goodnight and good riddance 

Issa process!!!

 Birthday month insert fun girl scream or rather screech it suits me fine. Anyway, so I just had an epiphany . Apparently my best part of Sunday service is when i get to make oogly faces 

…at the very lucky baby sitted next to me when the mommy is not looking! Kidding 😂 Of course my best part is listening to the sermon!! 

I wanted to write a chilled out article, but i really can’t because i am not really feeling chilled out and i prefer not playing pretend.

Opportunities knock on everybody’s door. That’s a fact. Now whether you will take it or leave it, that’s a choice. And that my people is the difference between successful individuals… And well, you?

* flash forward *

For the longest time i just realized… I have been infatuated with the idea of success. Its ideologies appealed to me,  and well, i got hooked to it because i swear when i thought about him my heart skipped a beat, and i thought i’d die lakini right after it would beat full force. My mind would buzz trying to comprehend things and i would wonder, is it the Wine? Oh  The Coffee? Must be The Words then….

Definitely an infatuation

I did not caress him enough,

To get to know what it would really take, 

i just thought of the high life, the cool rides, the elite dinners. 

I did not imagine that to attain him, i would go through the dark before dawn period. That i would have to tuck it away in my heart and have us think and  believe in each other like a religion.

I really did not consider that in order to attain success at it’s peak i would have to work extra hard, learn from the mistakes i make, get disappointed profusely by the people i counted on, and feel like droping on my knees , not to pray but to cry out my tear ducts cause i felt like there was no hope, like i should just give this thing up before it gives up on me. I did not think that during the process i would have nothing to swear on heaven and earth that i have accomplished.

But while i was down, feeling my chest constrict in pain, my eyes hurt from bleeding tears, my stomach. Well, my stomach empty having nothing left, feeling nothing. Nothing but my pain from my desparate heart and desparate need to attain him. I realized that this is my story, that this is the story i get to tell and what i do next determines it all.

So i chose to trudge foward, because staying here,

 the walls will cave in, 

And i will be hurled against the backs and fronts,

of fear and frustration,

 hook, line and sinker,

…..I am claustraphobic,

I wouldn’t survive.

But then albeit begrudgingly, i took a deep breath, took it out..Then i realized i had mush-room 😁 for improvement.

Each elevation births a new lesson, I am definitely greatful for the journey❤ So i am gonna end this with words from one Saashin G. (who i believe my friend Kim has a kidogo man crush on him😁) the brave shall not slave.

Peace guys✌✌✌ still learning, still healing, still growing.

Issa process.


Mwah! That’s a kiss btw. Ok yeah that was a bit random, but here is what’s not, thank you so much for reading through. I love you! I swear! Don’t forget to like, comment and share! You know it guys!

Self love on the down low.

This photo is so intriguing it almost, almost made me forget about my first love (words) for a second. So guys, guess what time it is? Okay i am just gonna tell you it is at 1:11am Monday night, but i guess technically Tuesday Morning.

The stillness just makes me wonder what different people in different parts of the world may be doing right this second. Bringing on to the table the different time frames in various places, the imagination itself is mind blowing. Realizing how many people there are  Should make feel slightly abashed or even vain at my existence but surprisingly it doesn’t. 

All i see is all the amazing thing every different person has to offer whether right at this moment a man is struggling to find the keys to open his door because he is too drunk or whether a couple hang up on each other and will go to bed smiling…

Whether a girl liked oreos and her crush told her that he liked girls who liked oreos. And in that moment, no one on earth was happier than her about liking oreos.

(who doesn’t like oreos though, it is staple food😁)

Guys, the question i am asking myself at the moment is…..drum rolls…….du du du du du ….pa! Is, what am i getting at? What are all these randon examples building to? Do I have a point or am i just taking advantage of your attention? (eeeh pats myself on the back, nice one Dee) I digress😣

“I think saying you are patient, is like saying you are humble. Just one of those things that you say you are but you kinda really aren’t…It is one thing if your aura just brings out the patience in you but it is another thing if you have to take a deep breath so you don’t hit a bitch with your purse. It is a risk you take to say you are the word itself without some asshole coming from the left like “where dat patience go tho” 

That would be embaracing! That is why I am usually so skeptical on captions like “I love Myself!” Cause deep down i think we are trying to convince ourselves more than we are telling other people that we love ourselves? ! You know? Now considering I preach self love nini nini this is a bit ironical ayee? But i think before we can believe in ourselves truly and accept in the promise of hope we need to know that we are not alone with our struggle of self doubt. Creating awareness is better than being told to focus on the positive. 

Now please don’t get me wrong love yourself by all means…whatever that phrase means. 

I love myself by not talking about it. I love myself in the silence acknowledging my hurt feelings matter. I love myself by dealing with the crazy ideologies that i come up with cause if i don’t then who will. I just don’t love the good parts, i take the bad as well like my shitty ass attitude or my inconsistency in checking up on people i know. I’d love to take this opportunity to announce that it is a deficiency in my personality, nothing personal😮 I love you still in the silence.

Cmon people, let’s end this🙌🙌🙌

I love myself by accepting that in this world, like the stars in the sky, we are small but they can flicker for so damn long and live through as like they never lived.To other people we are like the stars, sometimes even to ourselves. But my gosh would anything be here without you?

Guys i am sorry i don’t have a positive ending. I think who you are now is as good as who you want to be in a few years. Your struggles now, are as important as your achievents later, so embrace that. Embrace yourself! I hope that by staying true to me will intrigue the truth in you and further, that you can face yourself and know that you are not alone. Now thank you guys! I love you.. As uzh (usual)😂 like comment (on the comment section) and share! Mwah😘

What happens when it ends? What next…

Happy New year people! Oh goodness and we are in the third month this year. Guys i have committed such a treacherous act! I have abandoned my people! Okay now i am just being dramatic, but fam our relationship is still strong i know you will not  go a second longer before you submit to my charms. I missed you guys though. I missed writing over here. This is home guys. This is home and everywhere else my words have got, i was just visiting. (eeeeish Si i have lines😂) 

Moving on swiftly…

So guys. I met a boy! Meen! I am just playing c’mon😹. I just noticed that by saying that i sound like, i can’t be in a committed relationship😨 Cue internal diologue : Manze Dee you are ruining this post, these people will leave before you make your point’. Oh sh** 

To my point now: what happens when it ends? What next…

When what ends you ask? Everything and anything you hold close to your heart. Something that means the world to you, may it be a relationship,(boyfriend, girlfriend, mother, brother, father, sister) a job, a car, a house, lawyers in the house! A case. Something, anything that means the world to you, when it is nolonger there for you to claim it as yours! What happens next? 

Guys, i have a peculiar mind set, i won’t dare deny it. Just a warning.

I wonder why  we say falling in love, when falling implies collapsing and collapsing implies breaking.

It’s like, you have to fall before you are in love. Like the latter can’t exists without the former. That phrase itself attaches weakness to the word love.

People always see love as something grand. Something we need but we forget that inorder to be inlove we first have to fall(be it agape be it any other, guys take it as you need it)  and sometimes we have to fall out of love.

Now the problem with that is that it is not as easy as that initial pull. In falling you sometimes land is someplace else, and more often than not, ‘broken’ with missing pieces.

See my point? But let’s get positive,

It doesn’t matter whether you live happily ever after or you don’t

It will pass like it always does.

It will pass like your friends said it will 

It will pass just like a raging wind

It will pass like a storm always does.

It will pass like it is meant to pass

It will pass like it always does, and that’s alright. What matters is that it happened. 

That you met and gave each other these outstanding memories neither of you will ever forget because at one point in both of your lives you meant something to them, to each other. And sweety, you were happy!

Love is constant, Just like Him.But people arrive exactly when they are supposed to and leave when they must. And Life goes on.

I love you guys so much, thank you for taking your time on my blog. Like, comment (on the comment section) and share, sharing is caring! Thank you guys. 😘 (kisses for breakfast 5 in the morning😅 where is the mic guys, where is the mic uuugghh exits the stage.

Go ahead and underestimate me;)

A picture painted so perfectly, talk about imagination.
This spoken word is not to beef up my ego_or yours;It is just but a reality!
Forgive my amazing ability to paint a perfect picture with the power of words.
So that even when they cut off my limbs_the world will remember I came in handy!

Long gone are the days when Daddy died and the princess was in danger,laying unprotected, uncared for,unacknowledged in the mansion.Having to always play defender hiding from the evil step mother!
Long gone are the days that the princess fights while still premature for the weapons of her warfare are not carnal,but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds, casting down imaginations ,and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ!

..Go ahead and underestimate me..

Long gone are those days that she waited in fear,running from those who held her captive.
Today she stands  in the full armor of Christ, in boldness.Planning with wisdom that she gained from her father.
Now,that little princess stepped up and is now ♔ (king).Ruler of the world realms.King in her kingdom,king in everything she puts her hands to_for her father said,It is blessed.
She is king and when she writes the world realizes that she is a force to reckon with.They tend to imagine that she is in this world but is not of this world..That imagination needs a reality check.She is king.

..Go ahead and underestimate me..

Long gone are the days that she wondered what life really was.For her maidens used terms like “YOLO” and “life is too short” that got her confused.
Ask her now what life is.She will give you one word_purpose:)
Every wind, every storm is a distraction from what she is intended to do.
Thoughts of ‘salvation is exhausting I should have a break… she strucks down like lightning from the sky,that everyone can hear the thunder so loud!

Go ahead and underestimate me.My father will tell you he knew me before I was born.Whom he did predestinate,them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified:and whom he justified ,them he also glorified.
So when you talk about her;tell them I am a righteous lad in Christ.
That my existence was a possibility waiting to be birthed into the revolution.
And this spoken word is the machine I intend to fire the word with.I crave never to lack bullets to shoot:for this is the right angle.The 90° opportunity.

Curved to perfection. Slave to my purpose:).But for now ; I am that kid on Jesus’ shoulder,listening to him speak so eloquently. Crying I want to be like Jesus when I grow up!


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He wants to get there…@happy 2016

Sitting at that dark alley, he looks forward to a happy 2016,he remembers the past mistakes,success, glory!The pain that filled in his heart.The blood that trickled from his wrist,dripping on his wristbands following from the cut he just made.Exhausted, embarrassed enough!But he looks forward to a happy 2016!!An year without drama.He has faith that this year will do better,be on his side more often.More laughter and less tears.He can only hope,have faith,but you know faith does not deny reality,it only overlooks it!He wants to get there…@happy 2016.


. . .☺ this is his story,via spoken word ministry☺. . .

So I allow my past to motivate me..
I don’t allow it be my dictionary past won’t define me..
I made either A Es B(be it) it D..fine..
I learnt from them
I made remarkable stuffs
But all that is like smoke from a cigarette..has to be puffed..out..
So I chose not to fit in in the past but to stand out
So I seat down and I  reminisce..
I tilt back and look back at my past..
Far much gone am not about to go there..
Things we did..things I did..
Not all justifiable
Not all is fair..
The heartbreaks..
I mend them heart now breaks into to love those who love me..the other to love those who don’t love me back even more..
My heart breaks and leaks with love..
The flings..
R Kelly now knows I can fly..experience  though made me weak to even stand for what was genuine or not but eventually gave me wings..
The falls..of love and life..toss and roll..
I rose up all the same
Blossomed back like a rose..smell me..
The rejection..
I won’t allow either to be a negative injection to my present nor inflict me with desolation nor psych self esteem is made richer..try me..
Race for fame and cash
Ready to fetch love only to be crushed
The many crush..
Moulded my future so I let none crush me..touch me..
Time waits for no man..
Neither woman..
So I marvel or mourn about the past..both have a common entity..they fall for the it.
And won’t go back there..I want to get to there where spoken word ministry will replenish the malnutrition souls
Where spoken  word ministry will turn many to Paul’s from Sauls
Where spoken word ministry will fill flesh to the dry bones
I want to get to there where future awaits me..if only I could bring it closer to me..embrace and hold it after it with the feet of an ideally deer..
I want to go to there where the real happiness will come first from within me then extended to the following and others..
I want to go to there where sad less will be part of me..and sadness will be past tense participant from me..test me..
I want to go to there where all the fruits of the Holy spirit will be planted and germinated and harvested in me..pluck joy peace patience goodness kindness faithfulness humility self control
To love joyously have  peace of mind body and heart upholding the virtue of patience  goodness invested in me screening kindness showcasing faithfulness of the Greater Him in me and depict the meekness being humble just like He did..and all this have self control from the negative forces that won’t knock me down..God hold me..
Yes I want to go to there..
Where the gifts of the Holy spirit will stream in excellently like WiFi with all its bars on..
Unlocked from the chains freedom prison bars of ‘I wish I did this..I wish i had this..I wish this wasn’t me..I wish I had that..I wish I hadn’t done this..I wish this wasn’t me..’..
So God hold me by hand
I don’t want to get lost in the jungle filled with people..I don’t want to go astray away from thy way..
So be the only Truth that I will speak
Be my only Life that I will live
Be my only Way that I will walk on..
I am that Israelites
Take me back from Egypt take me to Canaan..Exodus..pass thru fine terrain of people and land..ex’s and dust..
Clear me the my blinded by the fears following me..the soldiers chasing me..the red . sea in front of me..separate the waters for me..and let me see only red carpet..
Control my enemies like a puppet
Kill them by their own swords
Fill me God with your own words

I want to get to there….
Happy 2016

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Under Arrest

Sunset pictures,green grass environment,love and affection in the air.
Life is beautiful and am under arrest.
Arrested by by His love and jailed in his kingdom.
Compelled to love like Jesus.
His love so evident by dying for us,on a cross,a death of shame.Did you know he was unclothed?Did you  know that he was spat on?Did you know that he was betrayed by a dear friend?Through a kiss!An action we view as beatiful,Judas chose to shame him,to betray him!

I am under arrest

I am under arrest to live not for me but Him.That the life I live in the flesh I live by faith.
I am under arrest! Not like prison gates where they enter by force,but like church gates where I go in smiling.
I am under arrest to accept his will for me and smile about it,for it is pleasing.I am under arrest to love my beloved with the overflowing love of God,hence no fear of dilution upon time passing.

I am under arrest.

I am under arrest to submit daily to his will for me. To soak in the word and quench my spirits thirst. You see Jesus burden is light,and his yoke easy to carry.I mean what a darling!

I am under arrest.

I am under arrest,more like I am at rest.Not worried about tomorrow, no axiety about what the next day brings forth,coz he provides to the birds in the air.How much more?

However deep we go in suffering,Our God has gone deeper..

I am under arrest

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